It has been brought to my attention many, many, many times that I have an affinity for swearing. More specifically, for the word fuck.
I can’t help it. I fucking love all swear words, but especially that one. And honestly, I don’t know why I have to be sorry for it or try to curb my appalling language. True I use it quite often, but to be fair it is sincere every time I say it. I’m not one of those people who uses it so liberally that it has lost its shocking but enticing feel.
Why do I love this word?
Well for one thing, it is so versatile. Unlike other swear word such as shit or damn you can use fuck in every situation. Really. EVERY situation.
Damn and shit are great words, and I use them in appropriate circumstances, but their use is limited. Damn, for instance, can only be used with glee (Hot Damn!) or anger (damn you!), and is pretty low on the profanity scale.
**If there were a profanity scale, ranging from 1-11, damn would qualify in the 1-3 zone, and shit would be around 5-7, depending on the usage. Shit alone is probably a 5, but “cocksucking shitbag” would merit a 7, or possible even an 8**
Unlike damn, shit is usually said with a feeling of only anger or frustration. “That test is today? Shit!” Or if you’ve bumped your foot on the corner of the table, then its usually “SHIT!”
Fuck, however. Oh fuck. Its wonderful. Its lovely. Its magical. It conveys every feeling on the emotional rainbow and can be used as a multitude of grammatical structures. It expresses pain, sadness, happiness, frustration, and lust. Hence, the versatility.
PLUS it can be modified into a whole assortment of words. Fucking, fucker, fuckest, fuckyer, and even added into words like rifuckingdiculous or fanfuckingtastic.
Whenever someone uses fuck, you know they mean business. It adds passion and emphasis to whatever you’re saying. Sure, “I fell down the stairs and broke my foot over the weekend” tells someone that you had an accident and have now incapacitated yourself. But saying “Fuck, I fell down the stairs and broke my fucking foot” adds the pain and anger you feel about your accident.
To my mother who is worried that I might not be able to find myself a means of employment due to my vulgar mouth, I’d like to point out that George Carlin made a career out of using profanity. Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television made him a household name. Rest in fucking peace my man.
Additionally, I’ve heard that Julie Andrews has quite the mouth, swearing like a sailor according to her co-stars. And that bitch can make anything seem classy. Kudos to you Julie. Go on with your Mary Poppins badass self.
If you were too lazy to read this article, here is a video recap.