Category Archives: Creature Feature

Creature Feature: Eegha!

This weeks creature feature is the 1962 classic Eegha!

I’m not sure there is supposed to be an exclamation point after the name; it just seems appropriate.

It was written, produced, and directed by Nicholas Merriweather (aka Arch Hall Sr.) and all I can say is good for you man. Even though it was listed in Michael Medved’s book The Fifty Worst Films of All Time, you go man. You had a dream and pursued it, no matter what anyone said. I clap my hands for you, sir.

Again, I can’t give too much away, but a fairly basic synopsis would be that a prehistoric caveman is living in the deserts of California. Which is cool, you know. No problem there. Probably hung out with the Geico guys. Except a teenager named Roxy (because they are always named Roxy) stumbles upon Eegah when she and her father and her boyfriend all decide its supercool to just start rummaging around the desert. Then Eegah wants to make Roxy his cavewoman, and her boyfriend has to rescue her, but now she kind of likes Eegah…you get the drift.

The one thing I remember thinking about this movie, was that the actress who played Roxy seemed to me to be MUCH older than her boyfriend. Like there was a 20 year difference. I guess she was on the cougar train long before Demi made it cool.

There is also singing. Lots of singing. As if a caveman with the name Eegah! wasn’t enough of a draw for you, Roxy’s boyfriend seems to be auditioning to be the next Ricky Nelson throughout the entire movie.

Sold!

 

-M

Advertisements

Creature Feature: Journey to the Seventh Planet

Dum Dum DUUUMMMMM

It’s Friday night. Get ready to pop some popcorn, thrown in a frozen pizza, and settle down for another example of great American cinema.

This weeks creature feature is Journey to the Seventh Planet directed by Sidney Pink and released in 1962.  Actually this film was shot in Denmark, with mostly Danish actors. So we have the Danes to thank for this stunning classic about the dangers of exploring the seventh planet. I suppose “the seventh planet” is a much classier way of saying Uranus.

Anyway, in this thrilling tale a group of astronauts have been sent by the United Nations to explore the seventh planet in the year 2001.
(I still have to giggle when I see old science fiction movies that have predicted what Earth will be like in the future. Flying cars and trips to Uranus. Poppycocks. But it also makes me a little embarrassed at having failed the expectations of the previous generations as far as our technological progress. We do have bacon flavored mayonnaise though. I call that a step toward a brighter future)

When these brave astronauts reach Uranus, a glowing light puts the men to sleep while a disembodied voice informs them of the impending doom that awaits them. The evil voice plans to take over their bodies and wreak havoc on Earth. Drama ensues; add in a couple of extraterrestrial sex pots and a giant “alien” which closely resembles a spider, you’ve got one hell of an evening.

I wont give away the ending, but it loosely reminds me of a psychedelic early version of Steven King’s IT. Mind games played on unsuspecting but brave heroes who have to battle a fiendish alien spider.

You be the judge.

Happy Friday

-M

Beast from Haunted Cave

Its a bird, its a plane, HOLY SHITS ITS A FREAKING MONSTER!!!

Wait…is that monster wearing tennis shoes? Does that monster have ketchup for blood?

Ohhh classic science fiction B movies, how I love you. You’ve never let me down. Overly macho protagonists fighting oh-not-so-scary monsters wearing dollar store costumes during a completely see-through plot. Add in a melodramatic damsel in distress and a foreign “doctor” or mad scientist (who usually is the cause of the problem) and I’m SOLD.

This is the first in a series of Creature Feature entries, where every Friday I’ll post about a movie featuring some horrific  monster/mutant/martian/any other applicable adversary starting with “M”.

This first movie was actually my introduction to vintage sci-fi B movies. I stumbled upon this movie in high school while channel surfing late one Friday night. How can I resist a show on public access TV called “Scotty’s Drive-In Theater”? From then on, every Friday  night I went through great lengths to secure the TV to myself at 11pm. It wasn’t really that hard, actually. I was surprised and mildly offended how fast my family cleared out of the living room the minute I mentioned what this weeks movie was. Seriously, if it doesn’t feature a talking dog  it doesn’t merit attention.

This weeks movie is “Beast from Haunted Cave” circa 1959, directed by Monte Hellman.
Ruthless criminals attempt to steal gold from a vault in South Dakota. They plan to set an explosive in a nearby gold mine to act as a diversion for their heist. They succeed in setting the explosive but encounter a beast in the mine.
When will you ever learn that venturing into a dark place with cobwebs and dramatic music is never a good idea?
I love it.

 

-M

 


%d bloggers like this: