Category Archives: Lists

Reasons to Follow Our Blog

Wow. 49 blog followers. Thats pretty awesome. We really appreciate everyone who is following and can’t tell you how excited we are about our upcoming journey. Alright, one more to 50! Come on guys, you can do it! Its not that hard, just click on the subscribe button. Why should you follow our blog? I’m glad you asked. Its simple, really.

1. We’re awesome. and vain.

2. We provide inspiring artwork which you should totally buy.

3. We’re guaranteed to give you shits and giggles. Hopefully you’ll have more giggles than shits, but both are important.

4. We remind you to get your daily recommended amount of coffee in your system. Three cups minimum.  Can’t have you all neglecting your caffeine levels can we? Your body is your temple. Let it shrine.

5. We understand and completely accept the need to swear in every aspect of life. Liberally. Unless you are a cock-sucking bastard sonofabitch.

6. If you’re blog follower number 50 you will receive this wonderful box of Quisp cereal. All of your essential vitamins and minerals in a tasty crunchy corn treat. Plus, super cool galactic battle comic on the back of the box!

He looks like he should be in a Dr. Seuss book. So you know it has to be good.

7. We remind you how wonderful film photography is, and that, however cool and convenient it is to take a photo with your digital camera, it is not the same.

8.  Both of our names have been used in fantastic 60’s songs.

9. We know that life is short, and you should spend your time laughing and looking at art. Lucky for you, we provide both.

10. We fill you in on the most important information for your life.


Get it together woman! Every good housewife knows that her man needs a decent cup of coffee!  Not that we’re trying to be housewives or anything, but we are a couple of girls who know how to make a damned good pot of coffee. Any takers?

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HEY GIRL!

Damn you went shopping this weekend too? Same shit, different states.

For the record, I don’t think we have a problem. I love shopping. My bank account would disagree with me, however I have not asked for his opinion on this matter. (Yes I consider my bank account a man)
But like Valerie, I too visit the land of thriftiness and discarded junk. I always arrive skeptical and leave amazed.
Today for instance, I was introduced to the White Elephant Sale. My aunt and uncle  introduced me to this fantastic gathering of STUFF. LOTS AND LOTS OF STUFF. Provided by the wonderful residents of Oakland. The museum of Oakland asks for donations of STUFF for about 5 months and collects it in a HUGE warehouse and then unleashes it to the public. They have EVERYTHING. Toys, music, cameras, clothes, mugs, golf clubs, hats, dressers, china and a slightly disturbing amount of mismatched socks (Really? I know they’re marked 25 cents, but you could shell out the $2 for a brand new pair)

And people are crazy for STUFF. I saw two elderly women fighting over a three foot plastic Santa Claus. Calm yourselves ladies. Sure he’s big and red and smells faintly like broken dreams and cookies, but I’m sure the wooden nutcracker would be just as enjoyable in your living room.
I was skeptical, I admit. I thought I had seen enough garage sales and junk yards to consider myself a semi-expert on such matters. I was wrong. It blew my mind.

I mean, where else would I have been able to see this ingeniousness that was clearly the work of MacGyver?

But...where will Barbie put all of her shoes?

Anyway, they had a really good photography selection. Among the countless slide carousels and empty photo albums, I scored with 5 disposable cameras for a buck apiece. Now two expired in 2009, which kind of sucked, one was slightly better with 2005 following with  2001 and then…jackpot. A Kodak disposable camera expired in 1995! Boo Ya!!! The cashier warned me that these cameras had the chance to have photos with the color slightly off, since they had all expired. I was like, “Bitch I HOPE they’re all off! If I develop these cameras and the photos all have normal coloration then I’m going to be very disappointed.”
These cameras will most definitely be used on the road trip. I’ll let you guys know how they turn out.

This was another important find. His name is Gordon. And he will be entertaining guests at my sister’s upcoming graduation

Circa 1976. Damn they don't make them like this anymore.

Other finds were 3 photography books and a teen magazine from 1972 with Donny Osmond on the cover.

Well I had to buy it. How else was I supposed to find out his secret?

Moral of the story?  Never underestimate giant garage sales with tons of other people’s stuff. Always a win.

-M

 


The world better not end…cause I got shit to do

So here it is…2012. And I have a GREAT FANTASTIC feeling about this year. This will be an UTTERLY WONDERFUL FUCKING FANTASTIC YEAR! Do I sound excited? I hope so, because I totally am.

Christmas vacation was much needed; both relaxing, chaotic, and enlightening.

My family is crazy, but it’s nice to know that I inherit some of my eccentricness from them 🙂

It was such a magnificent relief to be around them and be able to act without pretenses, completely and utterly myself.  I missed them and needed those two weeks to just be and have fun and stress and overeat (and drink. Can’t forget the drink) and do all the other holiday traditions.

I needed a break from changing diapers, doing someone else’s laundry, walking the batshit crazy dog, and joyriding in a mom-mobile trying to pull it off. But I ask you, can anyone really pull off a minivan? Seriously. I don’t think even Mick Jagger driving while Keith Richards hangs out the window with his arms flailing screaming “CHEERIO MATEYS CAP’AIN JACK SPARROW COMING THROUGH!” could pull it off. Although if Nissans ads were more like that then I’d probably buy one.

Ahh, I digress. (But what brilliant digresses they are)

Less than four months till the big bon voyage. The exciting excursion. Tremendous Trek.  Wandering Odyssey. Need I go on?

I can’t wait, but after talking with Val and re-evaluating our situation, I realized something of great importance.

I’m waay behind. Like seriously fucking behind. I was freaking out and panicking, but then I decided to take a page out of Val’s book and I made a list. Lists are funny things. Just because you’ve made one doesn’t in any way mean that what you have on it will be accomplished simply because you’ve written them down. But somehow, having them out of my head and clearly written on a piece of paper calms me down.

So I’ve made a list and it goes something like this:

  • Write out a complete and concise mission statement
  • Film and put together the video for Kickstarter.com
  • Blog once a day, or at the very least 3 times a week
  • Get the word out about us
  • Plan the route, but leave plenty of space for off the road adventures
  • Advertise like a motherfucker. Get the word out.
  • Learn how to network like a motherfucker
  • Save money like a motherfucker (see a pattern here?)

Although the list that I made by hand didn’t look quite so neat. It looked something like this:

Don’t ask about the aliens.


Center of the World

Wow, a pyramid as the marking of the center of the world...original. Too bad the Egyptians didn't copyright those guys

Definitely a stop on our trek…the Center of the World! Or at least its the center according to Jacques-Andre Istel, the mayor of Felicity, California. From what I can surmise after skimming the description on the website, he bought some land in the 80’s, didn’t know what to do with it, and decided after careful consideration and fact checking with a map, to proclaim it the center of the world. Along with a pyramid is a church, an original staircase from the Eiffel Tower, and a post office. I never thought the center of the world would sound so cluttered. I can’t wait to see it!

-M


Some things are not Coffee.

Some things are not coffee. A List:

10. A Morning Walk — No amount of sunshine and “fresh” air can fill a cup and caffienate your soul.

9. Visiting the Farmer’s Market — Okay, I know everything here is fresh and healthy and you’re thinking that you want to be one of these wakeupat6AMfeelingperky people you see around you, even though you got your ass out of bed at 10 only because the dogs kept barking in your face to go outside. The secret is that they all had their morning cup hours ago where nobody could see them and you had to run from your apartment without it so you’d make it there before everything shut down.

8. Tea — Tastes great with crumpets and biscuits (that are actually cookies because british people don’t know what they’re doing). Also a nice, cold, refreshing drink to accompany a rocking chair on a big porch. Not a substitute for coffee. ever.

7. Coffee Cake — Sounds appealing, but the name is deceptive. Eat with coffee, not without it.

6. Wine — unfortunately.

5. Energy drinks — I don’t know what kind of drugs they put in those things, but they can’t be good for you. What is taurine anyway? is it sweat from a bull? All these drinks are sick. Coffee grows on a tree, you roast it and steep it in hot water. Not a whole lot to figure out there. Go for the tried and true.

4. Naps — you have withdrawal. You’re tired, you have a headache. All you want to do is go back to bed. DON’T DO IT! You’ll only wake up 3 hours later with a thumping addict’s headache in the middle of the afternoon and have to brew a pot then. Irrational fights with family members happen after ill-planned naps.

3. Chocolate — It has some caffeine, it’s delicious and you don’t have to take the time to brew it. You’ll need about 15 bars of chocolate if you’re really planning on substituting it.

2. Decaf “coffee” — Get over yourself. What’s the point? The only reason this is not #1 is that there is still a little caffeine left in decaf “coffee” so theoretically you could just drink about 5 cups and have it equal out. Okay, more coffee for less, but at least there is more coffee involved.

1. Instant “coffee” — THE WORST. It looks like coffee, smells like coffee, but it does NOT taste like coffee. The worst part? It comes in decaf.

 

V


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